• livalamode

Twenty-Three and (Not So) Free

Hey all! Welcome to my first blog post which can be nothing other than a "get-to-know-me". If you already read the About Page, then you already know a little!

My name is Olivia and I am twenty-three years old. I grew up in Roseville, California-about twenty minutes from Sacramento. Once I graduated high school, I moved to Reno, Nevada where I became a Freshman at the University of Nevada, Reno. Some of my best memories are from here, but I just became uninterested. At that point, I didn't see a reason to continue my education since the whole point is to get a career out of it. How are you supposed to know what you want to do with the rest of your life at twenty-years-old? Anyways, I ended up dropping out after I finished my Sophomore year and attending beauty school there in Nevada. I liked the aspect of beauty school and everything that I learned, but I was not fond of my teachers or the school's teaching style as a whole, so that ended up not working out either.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell friends and family, and even strangers, that not only could I not finish college but I couldn't finish beauty school either? This thought weighed on me for a long time and I became very depressed. My friends were all still going to school so their free time didn't match up with mine. My boyfriend was still in school so I was left home a lot by myself. I worked almost every day just to keep myself busy. I remember just wishing for life to get better so I wouldn't feel like complete sh*t all the time.

With no one to see and no where to go, my closet became boring and bare. Eventually, Pinterest became my best friend. It was the first thing I looked at in the morning and the last thing that kept me up until 1AM. I lived vicariously through all of these models and their lives- this started my obsession with bloggers. I was absolutely enriched in their lives and how they always had somewhere to be and some amazing outfit to go with it. And the part I was jealous of the most? They looked too damn good all the time that no one cared about how crazy their outfits were! I used to be so uncomfortable wearing what I truly wanted to wear because everyone was always so judgmental. I used to want to live in Los Angeles JUST so that I could wear whatever I wanted without the stares.

Well, the boyfriend has now graduated college (and is a Police Officer, eep!) and we have moved back to his old stomping grounds, the Bay Area. I was so ready for this change! However, it isn't exactly what I had in mind. We live with his entire family and things are... different. It's just an adjusting experience to go from living on your own for four years, to now moving back in with parents. A lot of freedom gets taken away that I was so used to having! Though I moved and made a drastic change, I still find myself feeling the same: stuck somewhere when I would rather be somewhere else. But, until we can afford to move and live on our own out here (which is nearly impossible for less than $1,000,000), I am going to have to make the best of it. So now you see where the impromptu blog is coming from. LOL.

I wanted somewhere to share my ideas. My inspirations. My crazy! I need some sort of expressive outlet- I have felt trapped for so long and I'm wanting out! The Bay may not be LA, but San Francisco can get a little wild. I hope to encourage others with this blog to honestly, just not give a f*@%. That's what I'm going to start doing. I was happier when I was doing that. And hopefully, you come along for the ride.


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